Saudade

There is no shame in loving someone that no longer loves you. There is no shame in missing someone that no longer misses you. It is heartbreaking but it is not shameful.

And if you find yourself laying there, wide eyed and fragile in the early hours of the morning, missing the one you love but who is long gone, tell them. Do not let the fear of these feelings not being reciprocated stop you. Do not let fear paralyse you from whispering those three precious words.

Embrace your softness, embrace your emotions and embrace the love you have for everything and everyone. There is no weakness exemplified in expressing your love. There is only strength shown in the ability to express your love for another who does not feel the same.

One life. That is all we have, one life. Love everyone and everything unconditionally, no matter the consequences.

I have loved, and still do, love individuals who no longer love me. I have confessed to missing them, despite knowing it will not be reciprocated or acknowledged. I do not love because I want to be loved, I love because I cannot help but love. I will always embrace that side of myself, regardless of the outcome. – S. Alaa

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A Garden

Honey suckles entwined within this rib cage of mine.
Love from these veins nourish their vines.
A tongue drenched in kindness, words drip off tasting sweet.
Rose buds blossom along these blemished cheeks.
The laughter of children echo in my ears.
I haven’t felt at peace like this in years. – S.Alaa

Recovery

Nostalgia is seldom cradled within these arms. Torment by bittersweet memories of the past have ceased. Scars of where I had bled love for the undeserving one are scattered across my body like landmarks. Landmarks made beautiful from the love others have poured generously back into me. I have healed with only the ache ignited by laughter in my chest, a particular blissful ache I have missed.

These lungs no longer collapse on themselves to expel a howl for an overvalued presence that offers nothing but inadequate love and bargained affection.

I have fallen in love again, fallen in love with life. Fallen in love with the opportunities it is offering me in generous handfuls that I was previously too oblivious to appreciate. An antidote of patience and hope to the resentful poison that had once thrived inside of me. It is over, this self-battling war is done. I am free. – S. Alaa